I was recently featured in the Independent Financial Adviser, following a conversation on The ifa Show podcast about how divorce and bereavement can place strain on the adviser-client relationship – and why trying to solve things too quickly isn’t the answer.

A testing time

In the article, I explain how divorce and death don’t just affect a client’s finances – they impact how they show up in conversations, how they process information, and how they engage with you.

In these tricky periods, people are often completely overwhelmed to the point where it’s normal for them to forget what’s been discussed, struggle to make decisions, or feel uncertain about things they would normally handle easily.

The space to be vulnerable

Most advisers care deeply about their clients, so our natural response is to step in and try to help by providing solutions – but in these moments, it’s not what they actually need.

People will often say they’re looking for answers or information, but what they’re really working out is whether they feel safe with you; whether they can be vulnerable, be upset, and not feel like they need to have everything sorted.

That’s what builds trust – not how quickly you can solve the problem.

Reassurance over solutions

There’s a time for advice, but it’s not always at the beginning.

Early on, reassurance matters more than answers. Slowing things down, being present, and allowing space for someone to process what’s happening in their life.

It can feel uncomfortable not to “do” anything. But trying to fix everything in the first meeting can add pressure to an already overwhelming situation.

It’s all about grief

Whether it’s bereavement or divorce, grief is the common factor. With death, it’s the loss of a person. With divorce, it’s the loss of the life they imagined for themselves.

That grief can come with sadness, anger, confusion – and it shapes how people think, feel and respond. As advisers, we need to be prepared for that, rather than expecting rational decision-making straight away.

The PlanningSolo Philosophy

This approach is a core part of how I work at PlanningSolo.

When someone is going through one of these periods, the focus isn’t on pushing forward with strategy – it’s on creating a space where they feel safe enough to take things one step at a time.

The relationship and trust is built from simply being there for them when it matters most – knowing that advice can always come later.

Read the article: Presence over solutions: Helping clients during divorce and bereavement

Listen to the podcast: How specialised advice guides clients through grief and complexity