People often talk about “moving on” after a big life change. It’s a phrase that comes up a lot when I’m working with clients who have experienced divorce, the loss of a partner or a major transition.

But I’ve never found that idea helpful.
Not for myself, and not for the people I support.

To me, “moving on” feels like it’s asking us to forget. To leave something behind. And when what you’ve gone through has shaped you, forgetting just doesn’t make sense.

What I’ve seen time and time again is that it’s not about moving on. It’s about moving forward, resourcefully.

What does it mean to move forward resourcefully?

I talk a lot about resourcefulness with clients. It’s not about being perfect or endlessly optimistic. It’s about asking yourself, what parts of this experience can I carry forward in a way that helps me? What can I learn, or grow from, or honour?

Grief, like any deep emotional experience, doesn’t go away. It becomes part of your story. And the way you carry it can either weigh you down, or give you something solid to stand on.

I’ve seen people try to block things out. To pretend like it never happened. But those things always find a way back in. Often, in ways that make life harder—resentment, avoidance, or a sense of disconnection from who they really are.

Moving forward resourcefully means integrating your experience. Taking what matters with you and letting go of what doesn’t.

It’s not about forgetting

For some people, a loss becomes a key part of who they are. That’s not a bad thing. In fact, I think it’s natural. Where it becomes tricky is when we resist it or try to fight against it. That’s when things start to feel stuck.

If we can acknowledge what’s happened, and bring the past forward intentionally, it becomes part of a bigger story. One we’re still writing.

That’s what I want for the people I work with. Not to erase their history, but to feel proud of how they’re choosing to carry it.

“Bring the past forward in a resourceful way. It’s not about forgetting. It’s about integrating what matters.”

This idea came up in a recent podcast episode, and it really stayed with me. If you’re navigating life after loss or just feeling unsure about what the next step looks like, I think this one might resonate.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here

If it strikes a chord, feel free to share it—or reach out. You don’t have to go it alone.