Parenting is never easy.
Parenting while grieving? That’s something else entirely.
In a recent episode of Life, Loss & Legacy, I sat down with psychologist Donna Cameron to talk about one of the most delicate challenges facing many solo parents — how to support your child emotionally while navigating your own grief.
It’s a balancing act that many of my clients describe as exhausting, confusing and often guilt-laden. You want to be strong for your child, but you’re also just trying to hold it together yourself.
Donna offered some compassionate and practical advice, and it starts with one simple truth:
“If you want to make it really difficult, don’t acknowledge your emotions.”
Model it, don’t mask it
So often we think we need to shield our kids from our feelings. But according to Donna, trying to suppress your emotions doesn’t help them and it doesn’t help you.
When you allow yourself to feel, name and process your own emotions, you model something incredibly powerful for your child: that it’s safe to do the same.
Whether it’s crying in the shower or walking outside and screaming into the air (or into a tree — sorry, tree lovers), Donna encourages parents to find healthy outlets for emotion and talk about them with their kids in simple terms.
“You might even say, ‘Mum finds it really helpful to cry in the shower,’ or ‘When I get really angry, I yell or I go for a walk.’”
These everyday rituals can become powerful emotional tools not just for you, but for your child too.
The emotional ripple effect
Children are incredibly attuned to what’s going on around them. If you’re silently struggling, they feel it — even if they can’t name it.
By acknowledging your grief openly (and age-appropriately), you remove the fear and confusion from the emotional environment in your home. It doesn’t mean you’re making your child responsible for your feelings. Quite the opposite. You’re showing them that emotional expression is normal, safe and temporary.
You don’t have to choose between your needs and theirs
One of the most helpful takeaways from this conversation was this: you don’t need to prioritise your child’s emotions at the expense of your own. In fact, honouring your own emotions helps you be more available to theirs.
If you’re a parent navigating loss, this episode is a gentle reminder that your feelings matter too. You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to stay present and real.
