I recently wrote an article for The Zurich Post about what your adviser should actually do when you’re grieving.

Grief often blindsides us. It sweeps in, often when we’re least expecting it, and turns our entire world upside down. Sometimes it can be hard to get out of bed, let alone have the capacity to make complex financial decisions that could significantly affect your future.

So what exactly should you expect from your financial adviser during this time?

They should document everything clearly

In the initial meeting, my aim is… simply to listen. As I explain in the article:

“When I meet with a client who is going through bereavement, I go into that meeting with one clear intention: I am not expecting any signatures, agreements, or commitments today. Those can come later, once you’ve had a chance to go home, rest, and process things.”

I also send a simple one-pager before we meet, and send a follow up email after the meeting outlining everything we’ve discussed and what the next steps are.

That’s because in those early days of grief, the impact of the stress hormones in your body can be so significant that you probably won’t remember much of what was discussed (or in extreme cases, might not remember the meeting took place at all).

That’s why clarity – and something for you to look back on later – are so important.

They should help protect your future

When you’re grieving, time stops making sense in the way it did before. Many people struggle to picture the future they’d once imagined for themselves – which can lead to decisions that could be detrimental down the track.

As I explain in the article:

“Not bad decisions – usually decisions made with the best of intentions. Wanting to give money to the kids. Wanting to help. Wanting to feel like something good is coming from all of this.

My role isn’t to stop you doing those things. It’s to help you see the full picture before you do. To gently ask: in five years’ time, what would you want me to have done to protect you in the meantime?”

They should know how to simply listen

Grief can be uncomfortable – confronting, even – to witness, and not every adviser handles it well. In the piece, I say:

“Some advisers don’t know how to sit with someone who is upset. We’re trained to solve problems and get to solutions, and when there is no solution – when the only thing in the room is grief – that can make advisers uncomfortable. Sometimes that discomfort comes out as talking too much, filling the silence, moving through the agenda too quickly.

That can feel dismissive, even when it isn’t meant that way.”

But the thing is, you deserve to have an adviser who can support you through it.

Someone who understands that grief isn’t linear – that you’ll have good days, and bad days, and all the types of days in between, and that it could go on for much longer than you expect.

My goal as an adviser is to make my clients feel safe to be themselves – however they might be feeling that day – and confident that I’ll help them sort the hard financial stuff out, at a pace that works for them.

So that one day in the future, when the fog lifts and the sun starts shining again,, they’ll realise there’s still so much to look forward to.

Book a free, no-pressure conversation with me here.

Wherever you are in your grief journey, I’d love to help.