Life in Transition – Divorce

Divorce. Not quite as inevitable as death, taxes, disease and mansplaining, but certainly in the same undesirable ballpark.

It’s described as wrenching, heartbreaking, destructive, hollowing, devastating, embarrassing, shameful and lonely.

And it’s something that, unless you’ve been through it, you can never really get it.

Which is why I have to disclose early on that I’ve not been divorced. My wife and I have been together for 16 years, and married for…some of them. So I don’t get it, and I’m embarrassed at the idea that I’m pretending I do.

But I do get money.

And what’s involved in taking back control of your finances after the isolating devastation of a divorce.

For whatever reason, I’ve found that over the more-than- a-decade I’ve been advising, I’ve been able to work with a number of women who have been through this particular wringer and help give some certainty around what they can do, should do, and need to do with their money.

I’m at a loss as to why this has been the case.

But I’m a little proud of it. I like being able to help people navigate the financial weeds. And doing so respectfully, carefully and comprehensively.

Because it’s a big change. Actually, that’s too glib. ‘Change’ is too small a word. What’s the right word?

It’s not ‘disruption’ – electricity is disrupted, not people.

It’s not a ‘lifestyle shift’ – that’s a salve of a term.

It’s not quite a ‘journey’ – unless the trip’s started with a plane crash and you’re then walking to Alice Springs.

It’s an earthquake, a personal cyclone, a tornado, an emotional and personal tsunami.

And though I can’t help beforehand, it turns out I’m not bad at helping clean things up afterwards.

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